open letter to warren buffett

Dear Mr. Buffett:

Merry Christmas. I hope you are doing well.

I read with interest earlier this week that you and others on the board of directors of Berkshire Hathaway have voted for Bill Gates to become a member. I think I can say without hesitation that you made a good choice. I think it goes without saying that Mr. Gates has proven business acumen and I understand he is computer literate. If you are a regular reader of my weblog, you probably know that I good-naturedly told him to hang his head in shame the other day because of quality problems my mother was experiencing with the Microsoft Network. But you know me, I was just making good natured humor. You may also recall that the Guardian Unlimited in Great Britain quoted my blog about him getting four million e-mails a day, indicating that I was showing little sympathy for his problem. In fact, I was merely empathizing with him in that we both receive entirely too many spam e-mails. By the way, Bill didn’t ask me to write this letter of recommendation. I did it unsolicited. After all, Bill already has the job. I was writing in behalf of another job applicant: me.

It appears to me the board of directors of Berkshire Hathaway is top heavy with high rollers. After all, you and Bill are the two richest men in the world. It also appears you have some others on the board who are well-capitalized. I think it would be the right time to elect someone to your board of directors who understands the day-to-day problems and concerns of the average person, and who would be more average than me? Again, if you are a regular reader, you are aware that due to my being temporarily unemployed, I have the available time to attend board meetings. And, may I assume the members of the board are well compensated for their efforts? Would there be stock options? At $85,500.00 per share of common stock, it is a little pricey for me to open a position right now, outright.

I’m sure that Berkshire Hathaway’s customer base contains some upscale clientele, but I would venture a guess that the majority of your customers are middle-class like myself. And, since the generous offer I made yesterday to help the unfortunate lottery winners who are not happy with their lives since winning the money is apparently not going to be accepted, it appears I will remain middle-class for a while. I believe I can bring the board of Berkshire Hathaway into closer contact with their customer base and therefore offer a valuable service. My intellectual capital is invested in knowing how to get by without being rich; my core competency is spending what money I have wisely. Your board members represent a fraction of the top one percent of America. I could represent the other 99 44/100%.

These would be assets I could bring to the board of directors of Berkshire Hathaway.

I’ll be anxiously awaiting your response.

Sincerely,

Jimbo