notes from the underground

I saw the Scissor Sisters on Saturday Night Live last night. I was surprised that one of the Scissor Sisters is a brother. No, I don't mean he was black; he was a man. I shit you not, as host Colin Ferrell might have said. Unfortunately, the Scissor Sisters are far down the list of my favorite singers. To paraphrase what Willie Brown (played by Joe Seneca) said to Eugene "Lightning Boy" Martone (played by Ralph Macchio) in the movie Crossroads, they aren't a pimple on the ass of the late, great Robert Johnson.

I read yesteday that Bernard Kerik had removed his name from consideration for the post of Homeland Security Director. It seems that there were questions of the immigration status of a nanny that Kerik employed and he was forced to take his name out of the hat due to that. I am not familiar with Kerik's politics, so perhaps I am not qualified to comment, but it would seem that he would have been imminently qualified to do the job.

The story on Yahoo! referred to Kerik as "the bald, mustachioed former New York City police commissioner." The writer of the story, Katherine Pfleger Shrader-- the three-name using, presumably hirstute and un-mustachioed AP writer-- said that Kerik had a moderately troubling problem in that he had recently exercised six million dollars worth of Taser options. It would seem to me that had the options been exercised prior to his becomming Homeland Security Director there would not be a conflict of interest. If there was a problem it would be exposed during confirmation. With the soaring price of Taser stock this year who among us would not have exercised options in the stock if we had them. Unfortunately for my portfolio, I had none to exercise.

It would seem to me the nanny issue is a pretty minor indisgression. You may recall that during the Clinton administration, the Republicans in congress shot down some of his nominations for cabinet posts. It would seem to be poetic justice that the actions of some renegade Republican congressmen in the 1990s may come back to scuttle Bush's nomination of Kerik if it wasn't for the fact he appears to be a good choice. Which of us doesn't have some minor indisgression in our past. Even Jimbo has a moral dilemma in his recent past. Once, when playing a poker tournament, I won the side pot and someone else won the main pot. When the dealer pushed the side pot to me, I felt he included an extra chip. I should have said something, but I wasn't sure so I didn't say a word. I don't think I'll go to hell for this, but I wish I had spoke up. I went on to finish out of the money.

It would seem to me that Kerik would be a better Homeland Security Director than some politician who has no terrorism or security creditentals. We could surely do worse.