I read on Yahoo! this morning that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld fielded questions from the troops in Kuwait on Wednesday and was asked by a member of the Tennessee National Guard why armor for the vehicles the soldiers use in Iraq was in short supply. Rumsfeld, obviously a fan of the old sitcom Welcome Back Kotter asked the soldier to repeat the question. Had Rumsfeld more closely followed the guidelines of Vinnie Barbarino from the old Kotter series, he may have been able successfully to avoid the question. To aid the Defense Secretary I would like to remind him of Vinnie’s technique, so if this happens again, he can better avoid the question.
The questioner would pose the interrogative to which Barbarino would respond, “What?” The questioner would repeat his question and Vinnie would then respond, “You talkin’ to me?” The questioner would again have to repeat the question, unless he gave up in defeat.
Had Rumsfeld more closely adhered to the Barbarino method, he might have been able to avoid the question altogether instead of telling the questioner that the troops had to make the best of it with what they had and that the army was pushing manufacturers of vehicle armor to produce it faster.
On second thought, we have the finest army in the world on the ground in Iraq and Kuwait. The soldier would have articulated his question a third or a tenth time if it was what he thought he should do.
Rumsfeld told the soldiers he spoke to they should discount critics of the war in Iraq, but no matter what ones opinion of the war going on in the middle east, the primary concern we should all have is for the safety of the U.S. troops over there. Rumsfeld was informed by the soldier who asked the question that our soldiers were going through landfills to find armor and bullet-proof glass to protect themselves and their vehicles because the Defense Department is not providing the armor for them. The commanding general of U.S. forces in Kuwait said he was not aware that soldiers were looking in landfills for armor and bullet-proof glass. I guess they must not get to watch 60 Minutes over there, because I saw the same story on that program a few weeks ago Sunday. 60 Minutes indicated that one of the reasons that our soldiers’ vehicles are going without armor is that congress diverted funds that were supposed to go for that purpose to pet projects back home and other pork. No lobbyist left behind.
I know you are thinking, “Jimbo, we know where you’re going with this, but how are you going hang this one on the Bush administration when it is obvious that the finger of blame points squarely to this group of crooked, dishonest grafters we call the republican-controlled congress?”
Just watch. And read on.
Tax and spend. Tax and spend. And the republicans tell you that’s what democrats do. The president has the power and duty to veto these pork-laden spending bills and he should do it. Instead, as you remember during the debates, he blamed the lack of armor for our soldiers on John Kerry. I blame Kerry, too. At that moment Kerry should have charged across the stage and popped open a king-sized container of whup-ass and after order was restored and as he was being restrained by secret service agents he should have shouted:
“You son of a bitch. If you ever say that again, I’ll kick your ass, again. Every time you say it.”
But, to his discredit, he didn’t. It would have made for more entertaining debates, and possible careers for the two as wrestlers after they retire from politics. It gave Dubya someone to blame all our problems on. After all, the President is doing his best and, as he says, it's hard work. I just hope during the second Bush term a meteor doesn’t come into a collision course with earth. Bush will call for network time for a nationwide address during which he will tell us:
“This is John Kerry’s fault.”
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