Sunday, December 11, 2005

putting the OT in psychotic

A couple of weeks ago I railed on about the marquee in front of a local church. There was an insane question posed on this marquee, which I couldn’t understand. Here is the link to the blog in case you don’t remember.

http://jimboandhisfriends.blogspot.com/2005/11/on-news-media-doughnuts-lotteries-and.html

I ran into my son on Friday night and he mentioned reading the blog and he was able to use almost psychic powers to help me understand what I couldn’t on that recent Sunday morning. Here is what was on the marquee.

Why do you never see the headline psychotic wins lottery

Whoever put the words and letters on the marquee must have put in some OT in order to get it done, because if they had not put the letters o and t in the word psychotic, it would have been psychic and would have made sense.

It has also led me to question why we never see the headline, “billionaire wins lottery?” I wonder, at around seven on Saturday evening, if Bill Gates or Warren Buffett don’t look at the clock, and shout “Oh, crap!” Then, they run for their car and head down to the Seven-Eleven to buy their Powerball ticket.

Your first reaction might be that they probably don’t buy Powerball tickets, and that’s why you never hear of either of them winning. I would offer a different explanation. Because there are so few billionaires, the odds of one of them winning is miniscule. I say that they probably play, just like the rest of us do.

Bill Gates probably goes into his convenience store in Washington, puts a dollar on the counter and says, “Quick pick for tonight, please.”

The middle-eastern guy behind the counter recognizes him and starts telling him about a problem he is having with Microsoft Outlook as he hands the ticket to Mr. Gates. Bill listens for a moment, says “reboot,” and walks out of the store.

In Omaha, Warren Buffett drives into his local gas station, counts out four quarters, lays them on the counter and says, “Powerball quick pick, my friend.” The Indian behind the counter prints out his ticket and asks if Buffett can get him a deal on a leather sofa at Nebraska Furniture Mart. Warren Buffett tells him that they are going to run the eighteen-months-same-as-cash promotion next weekend and that is as good of a deal as anyone can get.

Bill and Warren probably thumb through the Sunday morning paper to look at the numbers. Bill will probably tell his wife, “I got two numbers, but that doesn’t pay anything.”

Warren compares his ticket to the numbers in the paper and says, “I guess I’m just not very lucky.”

And, once again, no billionaire wins the lottery. And we can all hope that no psychotic wins either.

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