on my hands and knees for you, baby

There’s a story today on Yahoo! about some limey who is crawling 55 miles for love.

Now I don’t know about you, but it is my experience that women like attention, and if you give them attention they appreciate you for it. However, it must be specific attention directed at one woman in particular. Otherwise they think you are a nut, and all your caterwauling gets you nowhere.

Anyway, it appears this British guy is a performance artist who has done some other unusual things in the past. His current adventure will take him thirty days to complete and he will follow the route taken by the pilgrims in Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. He is doing this for the dual purposes of finding love and to point out the plight of those who are alone during the holiday season. Apparently, we are told, that sometime during his past he was alone at Christmas and didn’t want to be around his family, so he stayed home alone and prepared fish sticks. This sounds like the basis of a good blues song, but, unfortunately, Elvis covered that territory in Blue Christmas, and said it as well as it could be said. Plus that, it’s been my experience that being around my family can cheer you up at Christmas, no matter how low you get.

It seems our British friend has performed a stunt where he did cartwheels to make everyone aware that people were taking beach rocks to use as landscaping and he kissed a picture of Tony Blair 100,000 times on Election Day. The story points out that our crawling compadre is single.

No shit?

I would like to think that if I were to kiss a picture of Tony Blair 100,000 times that people might look at me askance. I don’t think that is something that would motivate women to want to be around me. If I were to crawl on my hands and knees for love, I’m afraid that any women one would want to be with would suggest that I should crawl on by and continue crawling until I was out of sight.

And, those of you expert in fourteenth century literature would be quick to point out that Chaucer never finished The Canterbury Tales. I wonder if our crawling cockney will endure a similar fate. I would say his heart is in the right place, but perhaps he hasn’t thought this one all the way through.

Good luck and Godspeed, my English friend. I just wish you had given this one more thought.

At least, that’s what we think here in Jimbo’s world.