the china syndrome

I read on Yahoo! this morning that there is a theft problem in Beijing. It seems that people are stealing manhole covers and selling them as scrap metal. This is taking recycling too far, as far as Jimbo is concerned. The story goes on to say that there are 600,000 manholes (and covers) in Beijing and that last year approximately 240,000 were stolen, and presumably recycled (the covers, not the manholes).

The story says that the Chinese are testing a new type of manhole cover that is made of non-metallic material, which supposedly will reduce the amount of theft. I’m not suggesting the Chinese are behind the times, but wouldn’t it be easier to do what we do here and tack weld the manhole covers to the rings into which they nest? Two half-inch welds, one hundred and eighty degrees apart.

Now I’m sure most of you are saying, “But Jimbo, manhole covers are made of cast iron and cast iron won’t take a structural weld. There won’t be any integral strength in those welds, and billions of Chinese probably know that.”

Yes, you are correct as usual, but therein lies the beauty. And, by the way, Jimbo knows his cast iron and has spent many hours over the past couple of decades up close and personal with cast iron of various shapes and sizes.

“If you like cast iron so much, why don’t you marry a chunk of it?“ you are no doubt asking.

Because it’s cold and when you talk to it, it doesn’t talk back. And you know, after you leave, it makes fun of you and it, and it’s friends, laugh at you. You know it does.

But, I digress. Since the welds will not penetrate to an acceptable depth for structural strength, the street crews who tacked them in the first place have the equipment to break or cut the welds when they need access to the manholes and then re-weld them when they are through, over and over and over. Someone who wants to “recycle” the manhole cover will have to invest too much time and effort to break the welds to make it worth their while, economically.

But, as I said, the Chinese are looking at new, non-metallic manhole covers and that has me worried. Perhaps over there they all drive smaller cars and the weight of the cars passing over the manhole covers may not be a problem. However, over here I would think the owners of super-sized SUVs would prefer the strength of good old cast iron under their tires as they drive over the manholes, rather than risking the weight of their vehicles breaking through the covers.

And what kinds of materials are the Chinese looking at? Rice cakes? Woven bamboo? Plastic? Recycled paper? I would be very concerned. I would be very concerned, indeed.

At this point, your are probably asking, “Jimbo, why are you rambling on about this? What is your point?”

I am just trying to get a message to the Chinese. I just wish those Chinese would straighten up and fly right, and quit stealing manhole covers. Or, if they are going to take the manhole cover, they need to take the manhole, too. But since they probably won’t stop, I think we need to tell them about the welding thing, so they can save themselves the embarrassment of using the rice cake manhole covers and have them all wash away in the rain.

Because even though the Chinese are half a world away from Jimbo’s, we can still give them some neighborly advice.