security blanket

I usually have something on my mind, but right now the thing that is foremost in my thoughts is my irregularity. And I’m certain that is causing most of you to say, “Sure, Jimbo, we’re interested in what you have to say, otherwise we wouldn’t be here reading it, but we would prefer you kept your toilet habits to yourself.“

My response to that would be, no, I’m not talking about my bodily functions. I have had a lot going on the last few weeks and so I have been pretty erratic in making entries into my weblog. I apologize for that. I know that it can be frustrating when you come to my blogsite expecting to see some new, different and exciting commentary from the deep recesses of my sick mind only to find the same old stuff that was there yesterday and the day before.

Thank you for bearing with me. I will try to do a better job of staying with this thing, like I was before Christmas.


Damn. I just solved one of our biggest problems in a blog I was typing in my Word program, and as I paused to think about what I was going to say next, I received an error message and the blog was lost. It was a good one, too. It wasn’t funny but it was a great idea. Fortunately, I remember what it was, so here it goes again, but I won’t be able to remember it word for word, so I just hope it is as good. I’ll save more frequently. Here goes...



Another thing on my mind this morning is homeland security. I read that Mayors of major cities are getting their security information the same way Jimbo does. At the winter meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors, the Mayor of Salt Lake City said that Mayors get their information about changes in the security code “through watching CNN.”

Now, I will grant you, some good information is available on CNN and television in general. One of my personal heroes, Homer Simpson, once made a poignant comment about television. In an early episode, one where all the Simpsons have that gnarly look about them, Homer is drinking at Moe’s Bar, lamenting that his family is dysfunctional, when he sees an advertisement on television for Dr. Marvin Monroe, who says he can solve family problems. Homer says that the answer to the problems of life is not at the bottom of a bottle, “it’s on TV.”

As good as television is, however, I don’t think it should be the primary way of transmitting homeland security warnings to our metropolitan areas. I think there should be a better way, and here is what I propose.

One important point in the story I read today was that the Mayors feel homeland security is under funded and that not enough money is getting to the local level to do the proper job. As you know, Jimbo is not an advocate of rampant government spending, but there are some things for which government has a responsibility to finance. I would suggest that things like Tsunami relief, homeland security and armor and protection for our soldiers overseas would take precedent over the pork that congress has distributed to their home districts over the past four years. My proposal will obviously cost some money, but it would be money well invested. My idea is this: the department of Homeland Security should establish an intranet to disseminate information to states and municipalities. It should be secure and password protected to allow in governors, mayors and law enforcement officials and to keep out the dopes-- that is the dopes that weren’t elected or authorized to be there. Homeland security officials could push a button and notify everyone who should know when there is something notable and they could send out daily briefings.

Now, I’ll grant you, Jimbo has never established an intranet, so he is somewhere outside his core competencies and area of expertise, here. But I’m sure that every state and any municipality of consequence has access to a computer and the ability to connect. The cost of something like this could be horrific, but I’m willing to bet that it could be done economically and it might even help the stretched homeland security budget go farther.

Now, if someone in the Homeland Security department just reads this…

Well, maybe the guy in the CIA who monitors this blogsite could pass the idea along to his supervisor, or perhaps the guy in the white house.

In the meantime, the market opens in fifteen minutes and Jimbo has a lot to do this morning, including some pork chops to cook this afternoon. As my hero Homer Simpson would say, “Umm, pork chops.”

In Jimbo’s world we’re always on a tight schedule, even though we don’t do anything.