Friday, January 07, 2005

jimbo's chili: like a coat from the cold

You may recall that a number of weeks ago—I believe it was around Thanksgiving—I gave you a recipe for omelets you could use to impress your girlfriends. I want to take this opportunity to increase your culinary boundaries, but, before I do, perhaps I should probably expand my own horizons. A re-reading of the omelet weblog would make one think that all of Jimbo’s readers are adolescent males of little sophistication, whereas I am convinced that I failed, at that time, to grasp the scope of geniality and worldliness of my readership. I apologize for this social faux pas and I will make sure it does not happen again. I am now totally convinced that I am writing to one of the most educated and socially astute audiences out there on the World Wide Web.

The delightful dish I will set before you today is my world-famous chili con carne. To those of you who are not fluent in Espanol, that means chili, with meat. Here is what you need to make it. I assume that Williams seasonings are available throughout the country and world. Their headquarters is in Jimbo’s neighborhood, so if their seasoning is not available you can substitute what you can get, but Williams will be far superior.

2 lbs. of ground beef (I prefer ground chuck or ground round)
1 small slice of onion (Jimbo uses small yellow ones)
1 oz. package of Williams Original Chili Seasoning
10 oz. can of diced tomatoes and green chilies
16 oz. can of chili beans
1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese

Put the ground beef in a large pan or Dutch oven with about two cups of water and cook until brown on medium heat. Stir frequently to make sure the meat is crumbled uniformly and thoroughly cooked. When the meat is cooked, drain off the water. Jimbo’s girlfriend has a Dutch oven with a lid with small holes on one side to drain pasta. This works very well for draining the water off the meat. While the meat is cooking, take an onion and peel that brownish crap off the outside and slice a quarter-inch thick section from the middle of the onion and put the rest of the onion in a baggie for the next time you make omelets. Lay your quarter-inch thick disk of onion on a cutting board and slice it into 1/8” thick strips; then rotate it 90 degrees and cut the strips into 1/8” pieces and then put the onion into the meat after the water is drained off. Cook at medium heat for five minutes, stirring frequently, to mix the onions into the meat.

Then, pour the chili seasoning, the tomatoes and chilies and the beans into the pan with the meat and mix thoroughly. Cook at medium heat for about five to ten minutes and then reduce the heat to low and simmer for fifteen or twenty minutes. Then put the chili into bowls and top with the shredded cheese and serve with crackers of your choice. Jimbo’s girlfriend likes to drink milk with her chili, but it goes well with beer also.

Jimbo made this chili for his girlfriend tonight and she seemed to enjoy it. I think if you make it for your girlfriend, your boyfriend or your same-sex partner, it will go over well. We are going to have strawberry daiquiris later tonight. I’ll give you the recipe for them at a later time, if you will promise me you’ll make the chili before you start drinking and become a danger to your kitchen and the rest of the free world.

Remember, friends don’t let friends cook drunk. And in Jimbo’s world we never put heat to a pan unless we’re stone cold sober.

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