Sometimes in the morning and sometimes in the evening, about the time I go to bed and right before I get up, I tell my girlfriend, thanks for being there for me.
Thursday at lunch, Jimbo’s girlfriend told him thanks for being there for her. It’s good the feeling is mutual.
We had a high-stress morning on Thursday and by noon things had calmed down considerably. Jimbo’s girlfriend’s son was in an automobile accident. No one was seriously hurt, but the car he was driving was totaled, in Jimbo‘s uneducated opinion. He was driving down a busy street when a gentleman in a large pickup truck pulled out in front of him and he was not able to avoid running into the pickup truck. He called his mother and she and I drove to the crash site. It was during rush hour, so it took us a while to get there. When we got there a tow truck was collecting the two vehicles. The truck didn’t have much obvious damage, but on closer inspection the front wheels were both turned inward, so it sustained some serious damage, also. The gentleman driving the truck was as nice as one could imagine and realized his mistake and was apologetic, which made the whole thing more palatable. I’ve seen accidents where both parties blamed the other, and fortunately there was none of that going on that morning. The young man’s father (Jimbo’s girlfriend’s ex-husband) called that afternoon and told Jimbo thanks for being there to help that morning. Although I admit I really didn’t do much, it is always good to have someone in times of crisis who can observe the situation from a third-person perspective. Sometimes, no matter how independent you are, it helps to have a little help from your family, friends and even strangers.
In retrospect, everyone was civil, responsible and took care of things in an orderly fashion. Now, it is in the hands of the insurance companies, and I hope things continue to proceed in a civil fashion. The insurance companies have been cordial, so far, but there has been a hassle dealing with them. Perhaps I am just assuming the worst, but I am not a big fan of insurance companies. On Friday, there were eight or ten telephone calls back and forth. The insurance company said the car needed to be moved from the tow lot where it was, then they called back and said not to move it, then called back again and said move it. Any time something like this happens there is always too much paperwork and phone calls back and forth. Having been a middle manager for a number of years, I understand the value and necessity of insurance. I also understand that businesses have a moral responsibility to their shareholders, officers and employees to make a profit, and that includes insurance companies, but everyone has a story about how an insurance company treated them wrong. I appreciate that insurance companies can’t just pay money to any claimant that comes along and they have fiduciary responsibilities to check out all the details. I have had a number of good experiences with insurance companies where something was damaged and I received a fair settlement, but I feel I have been ripped off a few times, too.
Over the last year, I have been trying to find bargains in health insurance and I have found that dealing with health insurance companies is no picnic. I think, perhaps because of my personal bias, that the health insurance system in this country is third world.
For those fans of history, or those old enough to remember, Harry Truman in the late forties worked to get a universal health care insurance system for our country. He failed (obviously, otherwise we’d have one), but despite the obvious economies of scale that would be realized by a universal system, the program was not championed again until the Clinton administration. I liken health insurance to cell phones. Years ago they were a luxury for those who could expend hundreds of dollars a month, but now that everyone has one, they are dirt cheap. The price goes down as more people have them. That is what I mean by economy of scale. I remember in the early nineties people wailed and moaned about the cost of health care, which was borne primarily by businesses who paid most of the cost of health insurance. The Human Resources Manager of the company for which I worked at the time (he was also on the board of directors) told me it would just be a matter of time until the government took the burden off of private industry and there would be universal health care within a few years.
Well, we all remember how the health care industry mounted a campaign against the program and turned public opinion against universal health care. They did more economic damage to this country that one hundred Osama Bin Ladins could have done on the most destructive days of their lives. You may recall that once universal health care was tabled, the cost of health care insurance has soared and the availability of health care insurance has become a luxury for the privileged. The current administration talks about making improvements in health care coverage as if they have no clue what the problem is.
There are too many people without health care coverage because they don’t have jobs; too many people with minimum wage jobs that provide no health care coverage and too few people in the Bush administration who have a clue.
In Jimbo’s world we like to have a little help from our friends. We just wish that the Bush administration liked to help, too.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Friday, January 21, 2005
the chairman and the king
I read today that Michael Powell has resigned as Chairman of the FCC. I don’t have a particular problem with Chairman Powell, personally. He is an advocate of deregulation. He once called TiVo, “God’s machine.” For those who use, know and love TiVo, it is hard to disagree with the Chairman. For those of you who know and love Howard Stern, you probably an axe to grind with the Chairman and if I were to voice a criticism of Chairman Powell, it would be that he seems to have an axe to grind with Mr. Stern.
When Jimbo is playing basketball on Sunday afternoon with his cronies and a fight breaks out, Jimbo is usually the first to step into the middle of the fray and try to separate the combatants, so I guess it wouldn’t be out of character for him to step into the middle of this one. If you are a regular viewer of Howard Stern on E! or if you listen to his program on the radio, you know that “The King of All Media” can push the envelope of decency and the FCC (and by default Chairman Powell) is quick to level a fine when he does. Then the King goes on television and bad mouths the Chairman and the Bush administration. Lord knows, if criticizing the Bush administration were a sin, Jimbo would himself face eternal damnation, so we can‘t criticize the King too much for that.
If one checks the facts, the truth is that the Chairman was appointed to the FCC by President Clinton, however Bush appointed him Chairman of the FCC, and since that time it seems there has been a shift in the FCC that would align it more closely with the morality of Dubya, himself. Like most working people, the Chairman is only doing what his boss wants him to do, but like those brown-nosers around the office that everyone resents, he may be taking it too far.
The lesson history teaches us that morality and decency are best regulated by the free market. If something is indecent, it is our right to avoid it and not support it with our dollars. If no one watched Howard Stern, he would go away, leaving Jimbo to place his less-than-attractive tush on the throne and achieve his rightful place as King (of all media). Instead, by fining the King to try to dissuade him from his “evil” ways, all the Chairman (and therefore the omniscient Dubya) has accomplished is to divert the King into the new and unregulated frontier of satellite radio-- where no expletives are deleted and any amount of bad taste is tolerated.
The reason I have even brought up the fact that the Chairman is resigning is that at first blush it may seem like a good thing that an adversarial Chairman is going away and I’m sure that the King will be happy to see him go. But how many times have you been in this situation? You had a boss that no one could get along with and one Monday morning he’s not in his office and the rumor mill quickly confirms he’s been canned. The next day his replacement shows up and has a meeting with all the staff and he lets you know in no uncertain terms that he’s badder and more demanding than the guy before him and if all of you don’t start working longer and harder you’ll be gone just like his predecessor was. You quickly ascertain that you’ve gone from bad to worse.
My concern is that Dubya will find someone else a little less compassionate and a little more conservative and we’ll look back at the Chairman and think he wasn’t all that bad.
Because in Jimbo’s world we know that no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse.
When Jimbo is playing basketball on Sunday afternoon with his cronies and a fight breaks out, Jimbo is usually the first to step into the middle of the fray and try to separate the combatants, so I guess it wouldn’t be out of character for him to step into the middle of this one. If you are a regular viewer of Howard Stern on E! or if you listen to his program on the radio, you know that “The King of All Media” can push the envelope of decency and the FCC (and by default Chairman Powell) is quick to level a fine when he does. Then the King goes on television and bad mouths the Chairman and the Bush administration. Lord knows, if criticizing the Bush administration were a sin, Jimbo would himself face eternal damnation, so we can‘t criticize the King too much for that.
If one checks the facts, the truth is that the Chairman was appointed to the FCC by President Clinton, however Bush appointed him Chairman of the FCC, and since that time it seems there has been a shift in the FCC that would align it more closely with the morality of Dubya, himself. Like most working people, the Chairman is only doing what his boss wants him to do, but like those brown-nosers around the office that everyone resents, he may be taking it too far.
The lesson history teaches us that morality and decency are best regulated by the free market. If something is indecent, it is our right to avoid it and not support it with our dollars. If no one watched Howard Stern, he would go away, leaving Jimbo to place his less-than-attractive tush on the throne and achieve his rightful place as King (of all media). Instead, by fining the King to try to dissuade him from his “evil” ways, all the Chairman (and therefore the omniscient Dubya) has accomplished is to divert the King into the new and unregulated frontier of satellite radio-- where no expletives are deleted and any amount of bad taste is tolerated.
The reason I have even brought up the fact that the Chairman is resigning is that at first blush it may seem like a good thing that an adversarial Chairman is going away and I’m sure that the King will be happy to see him go. But how many times have you been in this situation? You had a boss that no one could get along with and one Monday morning he’s not in his office and the rumor mill quickly confirms he’s been canned. The next day his replacement shows up and has a meeting with all the staff and he lets you know in no uncertain terms that he’s badder and more demanding than the guy before him and if all of you don’t start working longer and harder you’ll be gone just like his predecessor was. You quickly ascertain that you’ve gone from bad to worse.
My concern is that Dubya will find someone else a little less compassionate and a little more conservative and we’ll look back at the Chairman and think he wasn’t all that bad.
Because in Jimbo’s world we know that no matter how bad it gets, it can always get worse.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
security blanket
I usually have something on my mind, but right now the thing that is foremost in my thoughts is my irregularity. And I’m certain that is causing most of you to say, “Sure, Jimbo, we’re interested in what you have to say, otherwise we wouldn’t be here reading it, but we would prefer you kept your toilet habits to yourself.“
My response to that would be, no, I’m not talking about my bodily functions. I have had a lot going on the last few weeks and so I have been pretty erratic in making entries into my weblog. I apologize for that. I know that it can be frustrating when you come to my blogsite expecting to see some new, different and exciting commentary from the deep recesses of my sick mind only to find the same old stuff that was there yesterday and the day before.
Thank you for bearing with me. I will try to do a better job of staying with this thing, like I was before Christmas.
Damn. I just solved one of our biggest problems in a blog I was typing in my Word program, and as I paused to think about what I was going to say next, I received an error message and the blog was lost. It was a good one, too. It wasn’t funny but it was a great idea. Fortunately, I remember what it was, so here it goes again, but I won’t be able to remember it word for word, so I just hope it is as good. I’ll save more frequently. Here goes...
Another thing on my mind this morning is homeland security. I read that Mayors of major cities are getting their security information the same way Jimbo does. At the winter meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors, the Mayor of Salt Lake City said that Mayors get their information about changes in the security code “through watching CNN.”
Now, I will grant you, some good information is available on CNN and television in general. One of my personal heroes, Homer Simpson, once made a poignant comment about television. In an early episode, one where all the Simpsons have that gnarly look about them, Homer is drinking at Moe’s Bar, lamenting that his family is dysfunctional, when he sees an advertisement on television for Dr. Marvin Monroe, who says he can solve family problems. Homer says that the answer to the problems of life is not at the bottom of a bottle, “it’s on TV.”
As good as television is, however, I don’t think it should be the primary way of transmitting homeland security warnings to our metropolitan areas. I think there should be a better way, and here is what I propose.
One important point in the story I read today was that the Mayors feel homeland security is under funded and that not enough money is getting to the local level to do the proper job. As you know, Jimbo is not an advocate of rampant government spending, but there are some things for which government has a responsibility to finance. I would suggest that things like Tsunami relief, homeland security and armor and protection for our soldiers overseas would take precedent over the pork that congress has distributed to their home districts over the past four years. My proposal will obviously cost some money, but it would be money well invested. My idea is this: the department of Homeland Security should establish an intranet to disseminate information to states and municipalities. It should be secure and password protected to allow in governors, mayors and law enforcement officials and to keep out the dopes-- that is the dopes that weren’t elected or authorized to be there. Homeland security officials could push a button and notify everyone who should know when there is something notable and they could send out daily briefings.
Now, I’ll grant you, Jimbo has never established an intranet, so he is somewhere outside his core competencies and area of expertise, here. But I’m sure that every state and any municipality of consequence has access to a computer and the ability to connect. The cost of something like this could be horrific, but I’m willing to bet that it could be done economically and it might even help the stretched homeland security budget go farther.
Now, if someone in the Homeland Security department just reads this…
Well, maybe the guy in the CIA who monitors this blogsite could pass the idea along to his supervisor, or perhaps the guy in the white house.
In the meantime, the market opens in fifteen minutes and Jimbo has a lot to do this morning, including some pork chops to cook this afternoon. As my hero Homer Simpson would say, “Umm, pork chops.”
In Jimbo’s world we’re always on a tight schedule, even though we don’t do anything.
My response to that would be, no, I’m not talking about my bodily functions. I have had a lot going on the last few weeks and so I have been pretty erratic in making entries into my weblog. I apologize for that. I know that it can be frustrating when you come to my blogsite expecting to see some new, different and exciting commentary from the deep recesses of my sick mind only to find the same old stuff that was there yesterday and the day before.
Thank you for bearing with me. I will try to do a better job of staying with this thing, like I was before Christmas.
Damn. I just solved one of our biggest problems in a blog I was typing in my Word program, and as I paused to think about what I was going to say next, I received an error message and the blog was lost. It was a good one, too. It wasn’t funny but it was a great idea. Fortunately, I remember what it was, so here it goes again, but I won’t be able to remember it word for word, so I just hope it is as good. I’ll save more frequently. Here goes...
Another thing on my mind this morning is homeland security. I read that Mayors of major cities are getting their security information the same way Jimbo does. At the winter meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors, the Mayor of Salt Lake City said that Mayors get their information about changes in the security code “through watching CNN.”
Now, I will grant you, some good information is available on CNN and television in general. One of my personal heroes, Homer Simpson, once made a poignant comment about television. In an early episode, one where all the Simpsons have that gnarly look about them, Homer is drinking at Moe’s Bar, lamenting that his family is dysfunctional, when he sees an advertisement on television for Dr. Marvin Monroe, who says he can solve family problems. Homer says that the answer to the problems of life is not at the bottom of a bottle, “it’s on TV.”
As good as television is, however, I don’t think it should be the primary way of transmitting homeland security warnings to our metropolitan areas. I think there should be a better way, and here is what I propose.
One important point in the story I read today was that the Mayors feel homeland security is under funded and that not enough money is getting to the local level to do the proper job. As you know, Jimbo is not an advocate of rampant government spending, but there are some things for which government has a responsibility to finance. I would suggest that things like Tsunami relief, homeland security and armor and protection for our soldiers overseas would take precedent over the pork that congress has distributed to their home districts over the past four years. My proposal will obviously cost some money, but it would be money well invested. My idea is this: the department of Homeland Security should establish an intranet to disseminate information to states and municipalities. It should be secure and password protected to allow in governors, mayors and law enforcement officials and to keep out the dopes-- that is the dopes that weren’t elected or authorized to be there. Homeland security officials could push a button and notify everyone who should know when there is something notable and they could send out daily briefings.
Now, I’ll grant you, Jimbo has never established an intranet, so he is somewhere outside his core competencies and area of expertise, here. But I’m sure that every state and any municipality of consequence has access to a computer and the ability to connect. The cost of something like this could be horrific, but I’m willing to bet that it could be done economically and it might even help the stretched homeland security budget go farther.
Now, if someone in the Homeland Security department just reads this…
Well, maybe the guy in the CIA who monitors this blogsite could pass the idea along to his supervisor, or perhaps the guy in the white house.
In the meantime, the market opens in fifteen minutes and Jimbo has a lot to do this morning, including some pork chops to cook this afternoon. As my hero Homer Simpson would say, “Umm, pork chops.”
In Jimbo’s world we’re always on a tight schedule, even though we don’t do anything.
Monday, January 17, 2005
reflections of a reddish eye
Today Jimbo woke up with a really bloodshot eye. That first look into the mirror this morning was somewhat of a shock. It wasn’t pretty. As I have said before, Jimbo is somewhat of a less-than-handsome man, anyway, and his reflection in the mirror required one to look deep for inner beauty. Jimbo made an appointment with the eye doctor who told him everything was all right, that he just had some kind of a hemorrhage that would clear up in a while. Waking up with your eye all red makes one think about his mortality, but I stopped worrying about it after seeing the doctor. Thanks, doc. Also, thanks mom for referring me to him and especially thanks to my sister, a nurse, who helped assure me on the phone this morning that what little life I had in me was not quickly ebbing away.
On the way back from the eye doctor, I drove past a building that houses a company for which I used to work. There were no cars in the parking lot and I remembered when I used to work there the union guys out in the shop voted to take the Martin Luther King holiday instead of President’s Day. That was the last place I worked where we got the King holiday off. I remember at the time there was some odd resentment about taking the day off. One of the ladies I worked with said she would rather come to work than have a holiday in honor of Mr. King. Back then, believe it or not, I was kind of the office Joker, always trying to get a laugh (not serious and contemplative as I am today), and my response was that I would be happy to take a holiday, even if it were in honor of Attila the Hun.
I don’t think you would run across many people today who would express the same opinion of my former co-worker and many would say my response lacked a proper amount of political correctness, but I still feel that a day off work is a good thing, even if one doesn’t spend the day off honoring the person for whom the holiday is based. I think the symbolism of the King holiday makes it as legitimate as any other one, despite the fact that many people don’t get off work for it, and many that do probably don’t spend the day thinking about their black heritage. I would even venture that most of the people who are off school and work today are a little light on black heritage. If you think about most of our holidays, people probably only give a little thought to what the holiday is all about, if even that. I had to look up information about Memorial Day on the web to confirm what it actually honors, and it is not the Indianapolis 500.
Of the major holidays, two are in honor of Jesus (Christmas and Easter) and I would venture a guess that even non-Christians take the day off work and celebrate. Four honor America and its traditions. President’s Day honors our two most famous leaders, while Memorial Day honors those who died in war. Independence Day celebrates the declaration from Great Britain; Thanksgiving honors the pilgrims and the day after Thanksgiving honors commercialism and conspicuous consumption. Labor Day honors workers and the labor movement, but how many of us belong to unions these days and who thinks much about laborers at all the barbeques? New Year’s honors a random day of the year when we can start over with a clean slate.
Then, of course, we have the minor holidays for which most of us don’t get off work, unless we take a vacation day. Columbus day honors a lost mariner named Cristobal Colon who had a masterful view of the big picture and of the world being a globe, but he was not detail oriented and bumped into America while thinking he was in the East Indies. April Fool’s Day honors idiocy and gullibility. Halloween honors witchcraft and Satanism. St. Patrick’s Day honors the Irish and the incorrect stereotype that all the Irish are drunkards. However, for one day out of the year we are all Irish, and we drink to excess.
Perhaps someday, the Martin Luther King holiday will be a day when we are all black and we all embellish some incorrect racial stereotype. Until that time, however, I say we should celebrate the day, remember the man and enjoy the day off, if you have it.
Because in Jimbo’s world we can always use a day off.
On the way back from the eye doctor, I drove past a building that houses a company for which I used to work. There were no cars in the parking lot and I remembered when I used to work there the union guys out in the shop voted to take the Martin Luther King holiday instead of President’s Day. That was the last place I worked where we got the King holiday off. I remember at the time there was some odd resentment about taking the day off. One of the ladies I worked with said she would rather come to work than have a holiday in honor of Mr. King. Back then, believe it or not, I was kind of the office Joker, always trying to get a laugh (not serious and contemplative as I am today), and my response was that I would be happy to take a holiday, even if it were in honor of Attila the Hun.
I don’t think you would run across many people today who would express the same opinion of my former co-worker and many would say my response lacked a proper amount of political correctness, but I still feel that a day off work is a good thing, even if one doesn’t spend the day off honoring the person for whom the holiday is based. I think the symbolism of the King holiday makes it as legitimate as any other one, despite the fact that many people don’t get off work for it, and many that do probably don’t spend the day thinking about their black heritage. I would even venture that most of the people who are off school and work today are a little light on black heritage. If you think about most of our holidays, people probably only give a little thought to what the holiday is all about, if even that. I had to look up information about Memorial Day on the web to confirm what it actually honors, and it is not the Indianapolis 500.
Of the major holidays, two are in honor of Jesus (Christmas and Easter) and I would venture a guess that even non-Christians take the day off work and celebrate. Four honor America and its traditions. President’s Day honors our two most famous leaders, while Memorial Day honors those who died in war. Independence Day celebrates the declaration from Great Britain; Thanksgiving honors the pilgrims and the day after Thanksgiving honors commercialism and conspicuous consumption. Labor Day honors workers and the labor movement, but how many of us belong to unions these days and who thinks much about laborers at all the barbeques? New Year’s honors a random day of the year when we can start over with a clean slate.
Then, of course, we have the minor holidays for which most of us don’t get off work, unless we take a vacation day. Columbus day honors a lost mariner named Cristobal Colon who had a masterful view of the big picture and of the world being a globe, but he was not detail oriented and bumped into America while thinking he was in the East Indies. April Fool’s Day honors idiocy and gullibility. Halloween honors witchcraft and Satanism. St. Patrick’s Day honors the Irish and the incorrect stereotype that all the Irish are drunkards. However, for one day out of the year we are all Irish, and we drink to excess.
Perhaps someday, the Martin Luther King holiday will be a day when we are all black and we all embellish some incorrect racial stereotype. Until that time, however, I say we should celebrate the day, remember the man and enjoy the day off, if you have it.
Because in Jimbo’s world we can always use a day off.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
bourgeois blues in a proletarian america
It’s getting close to dinnertime at chez Jimbo’s girlfriend. I will be getting dinner ready here in a few minutes. Actually, I am just heating up some oven-baked chicken and some mashed potatoes that I made a couple of nights ago and I’ll be adding green beans to complete the culinary masterpiece. Jimbo is getting to be quite the cook, and the homemaker. Jimbo would also “put out” if it were expected. I may have some more recipes to add to your repertoire soon. But before Jimbo prepares this bounty for himself and his girlfriend, he has a little to get off his mind.
First of all: an apology. When I commented on Mickey Rooney’s rear end the other day, I used a number of different synonyms for Mickey’s buttocks, because there are so many different words to describe the human gluteus maximus (excluding foreign expressions like this one in Latin). I left out dozens of expressions, intentionally, but one I left out by mistake was tush or tushy. Pardon my omission. I should not have done a weblog about the bottom without including one of those expressions. I’ll do better next time.
The thing that caught my eye today in the news is that a member of the FCC has asked for a probe into a conservative columnist, saying the columnist failed to disclose $240,000 paid to him by the Bush administration to publicize its education policies. A little investigation into the story reveals that the columnist was given the money as compensation for running radio and television ads to promote the No Child Left Behind Act. The columnist says he accepted the money for advertisements and that he did nothing wrong. He apologized, however, saying it was a conflict of interests.
The thing that upsets me most about this is that the tax-and-spend Bush administration is so free with our money. And to top it off, they gave it to a commentator who generally supported their views. The commentator is probably making enough money that he is doing all right, whereas there are some of us who could really use the money.
I’m sure this columnist knows his way around Washington, DC. He is probably not as familiar with Huddie William Ledbetter, better known as Lead Belly, as Jimbo is and this columnist probably doesn’t pull out his six-string and sing Lead Belly’s song The Bourgeois Blues, as Jimbo used to do in his younger days. If he did, he would find apropos the following lines from the song.
“…don’t try to find no home in Washington, DC
‘cause it’s a bourgeois town…”
If Jimbo were allowed to paraphrase Lead Belly, he would say that Washington is a bourgeois town populated by bourgeois folks, and some in particular hang out down at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It sounds as if some of these bourgeois folks are spending a quarter of a mil of our money for advertising to push their programs. Now, I have nothing against advertising. It’s been proven that one can disseminate important information that way. I’m wondering, however, if the Bush administration should be channeling their advertising budget through the people that support them, and I wonder if this is the proper way to get their message across. Hell, if the Bush administration is so keen on throwing their money away, why don’t they send some of it Jimbo’s way? My proletarian wallet could use some of their bourgeois bucks. There will be no conflict of interests, there. I’ll still keep giving them a hard time. I’ll just do it while snacking on the name brands instead of the discount store brands.
I think that hell will freeze over first, before I’ll see any money from the Bush administration, or even hear a kind word from them, or any of us will. Any of us, that is, except the people to whom they are giving our money. All the while, I’ll remember what Lead Belly said and I’ll take his advice. And, I’ll quote him again.
“I’ve got the bourgeois blues
Spread the news all around.”
Because some days in Jimbo’s world all one can do is make dinner for the little woman and keep spreading the news all around.
First of all: an apology. When I commented on Mickey Rooney’s rear end the other day, I used a number of different synonyms for Mickey’s buttocks, because there are so many different words to describe the human gluteus maximus (excluding foreign expressions like this one in Latin). I left out dozens of expressions, intentionally, but one I left out by mistake was tush or tushy. Pardon my omission. I should not have done a weblog about the bottom without including one of those expressions. I’ll do better next time.
The thing that caught my eye today in the news is that a member of the FCC has asked for a probe into a conservative columnist, saying the columnist failed to disclose $240,000 paid to him by the Bush administration to publicize its education policies. A little investigation into the story reveals that the columnist was given the money as compensation for running radio and television ads to promote the No Child Left Behind Act. The columnist says he accepted the money for advertisements and that he did nothing wrong. He apologized, however, saying it was a conflict of interests.
The thing that upsets me most about this is that the tax-and-spend Bush administration is so free with our money. And to top it off, they gave it to a commentator who generally supported their views. The commentator is probably making enough money that he is doing all right, whereas there are some of us who could really use the money.
I’m sure this columnist knows his way around Washington, DC. He is probably not as familiar with Huddie William Ledbetter, better known as Lead Belly, as Jimbo is and this columnist probably doesn’t pull out his six-string and sing Lead Belly’s song The Bourgeois Blues, as Jimbo used to do in his younger days. If he did, he would find apropos the following lines from the song.
“…don’t try to find no home in Washington, DC
‘cause it’s a bourgeois town…”
If Jimbo were allowed to paraphrase Lead Belly, he would say that Washington is a bourgeois town populated by bourgeois folks, and some in particular hang out down at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. It sounds as if some of these bourgeois folks are spending a quarter of a mil of our money for advertising to push their programs. Now, I have nothing against advertising. It’s been proven that one can disseminate important information that way. I’m wondering, however, if the Bush administration should be channeling their advertising budget through the people that support them, and I wonder if this is the proper way to get their message across. Hell, if the Bush administration is so keen on throwing their money away, why don’t they send some of it Jimbo’s way? My proletarian wallet could use some of their bourgeois bucks. There will be no conflict of interests, there. I’ll still keep giving them a hard time. I’ll just do it while snacking on the name brands instead of the discount store brands.
I think that hell will freeze over first, before I’ll see any money from the Bush administration, or even hear a kind word from them, or any of us will. Any of us, that is, except the people to whom they are giving our money. All the while, I’ll remember what Lead Belly said and I’ll take his advice. And, I’ll quote him again.
“I’ve got the bourgeois blues
Spread the news all around.”
Because some days in Jimbo’s world all one can do is make dinner for the little woman and keep spreading the news all around.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
mickey's rump, texas pests exposed
Some things in the news this week have caught my eye. First of all, the firestorm over Mickey Rooney’s bare buttocks comes to mind. Okay, I guess it is just a tempest in a teapot. I think I can safely say that if we were to see Mickey’s buck-naked ass on Super Bowl Sunday, life would still go on and society, as well as democracy, would survive.
Many of you are asking, “Tempest in a teapot? Has that bromide been used by anyone since the nineteenth century?” Others are saying, “Jimbo, you certainly have an unnatural interest in Mickey Rooney’s pale rear end.” The majority of you, however, are probably just asking, “What’s the big deal?”
And, I fall on the side of the latter on this issue. I think the only thing that hyping Mickey’s posterior and the fact that Fox has pulled the commercial from their Super Bowl broadcast is that it has given some free publicity to Airborne, the outfit for whom Mickey did the advertisement. You could also say it gave the networks one more opportunity to show us the video with Janet Jackson’s right breast not being visible and the video of Nicollette Sheridan trying to take Terrell Owens’ eye off the ball. And, all the while, they lament how awful these episodes were as they show them over and over and over.
By the way, if one is not sure of the spelling of Nicollette Sheridan’s first name and one puts it into Yahoo! as Nicole Sheridan, one is in for a surprise, as Nicole is a porn star and I guess you can see Nicole do her stuff if you click on the sites (which, of course, Jimbo didn’t). However from what Jimbo read on the Yahoo! search page, Nicole is a tall, leggy, gregarious blonde with a well-inflated front end who gives… well, never mind.
The bottom line is that any time spent worrying about the decline of civilization that would follow if we were to see Mickey’s naked buns would be better spent worrying about something else, like whether Nicole Sheridan is dressed warmly enough.
If one is inclined toward worry, however, here is something one can worry about.
It appears that the state of Texas is experiencing a problem with pests.
“Oh, Jimbo,” you are probably saying, “Can’t you get off the President’s back? He’s doing the best job he can do. It’s hard work and he needs to get away from Washington once in a while and get back to his ranch in Texas. And you are making it sound like he is a pest in his own home state.”
Au contraire, mon frere.
I can understand you may feel I’m sometimes critical of the current administration, but this time I am talking of other pests. It seems there is an infestation of Asian lady bugs in Texas and the infestation is causing a problem for the residents of the state. From the research I have done I have learned that the Asian lady bugs were introduced into the United States to prey upon other insects that were damaging plants and trees. In their native Asia, the lady bugs hibernate in large groups on cliff faces during the winter. Because there aren’t many cliffs in Texas the beetles are joining Texas families inside their homes during the winter and causing quite a stink. I use the word “stink” for a reason and the reason I use it is that the little boogers have an odor to them. Yes, the little stinkers come in from the cold, uninvited, and smell up the place.
The story that brought this problem to my attention says the bugs leave bloodstains around the house (they are carnivores, after all, meaning they eat living things). They also shed their skins and defecate inside the house. The story quotes a Texas Extension Agent who says it is better not to spray them with insecticide as they will just get inside the walls of your house, die and smell. Because the bugs overwinter in groups in their native Asia, they spend the winters in Texas swarming, so it is not just lone bugs that are bugging people, but bunches of them.
The bugs also seem to be attracted to golf courses and they alight on the golfers. Now, Jimbo is not a golfer, but he did golf for a year or two in his youth. Golf is a very difficult game and requires concentration. I would imagine it would mess up a game and add strokes to your score if you had bugs landing on you while you were trying to negotiate a shot-- especially smelly bugs.
Right now you are probably thinking that it is time for Jimbo to offer a solution to the problem rather than just listening to him lament that the situation has occurred. I guess that you deserve a solution and here it is. We need to send someone back into time to stop the people who imported the lady bugs from Asia in the first place. Of course, if we did that, then the aphids that were killing plants and trees that caused someone to have the bright idea to bring in the lady bugs might have become more of a problem than the lady bugs are and there might not be any trees or plants left. Or, instead of bringing in the lady bugs, they could have used DDT to eliminate the aphids and that could have caused an environmental nightmare. As Roseanne Roseanna-Dana (played by Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live) used to say, “It’s always something.”
The bottom line is (if you don’t mind me using the phrase in a context where buttocks are not involved) that every action has a reaction and we always have to think before we do things and be prepared to live with the consequences. And remember, Texas gave us George Bush, so maybe they deserve to suffer down there like the rest of the nation has. Anyway, all this thinking has made me tired. Lets all give our brains a rest and lets think about Mickey’s ass, or Nicole’s and wonder how we got from their asses to here.
Sometimes there are a lot of detours in a trip through Jimbo’s world.
Many of you are asking, “Tempest in a teapot? Has that bromide been used by anyone since the nineteenth century?” Others are saying, “Jimbo, you certainly have an unnatural interest in Mickey Rooney’s pale rear end.” The majority of you, however, are probably just asking, “What’s the big deal?”
And, I fall on the side of the latter on this issue. I think the only thing that hyping Mickey’s posterior and the fact that Fox has pulled the commercial from their Super Bowl broadcast is that it has given some free publicity to Airborne, the outfit for whom Mickey did the advertisement. You could also say it gave the networks one more opportunity to show us the video with Janet Jackson’s right breast not being visible and the video of Nicollette Sheridan trying to take Terrell Owens’ eye off the ball. And, all the while, they lament how awful these episodes were as they show them over and over and over.
By the way, if one is not sure of the spelling of Nicollette Sheridan’s first name and one puts it into Yahoo! as Nicole Sheridan, one is in for a surprise, as Nicole is a porn star and I guess you can see Nicole do her stuff if you click on the sites (which, of course, Jimbo didn’t). However from what Jimbo read on the Yahoo! search page, Nicole is a tall, leggy, gregarious blonde with a well-inflated front end who gives… well, never mind.
The bottom line is that any time spent worrying about the decline of civilization that would follow if we were to see Mickey’s naked buns would be better spent worrying about something else, like whether Nicole Sheridan is dressed warmly enough.
If one is inclined toward worry, however, here is something one can worry about.
It appears that the state of Texas is experiencing a problem with pests.
“Oh, Jimbo,” you are probably saying, “Can’t you get off the President’s back? He’s doing the best job he can do. It’s hard work and he needs to get away from Washington once in a while and get back to his ranch in Texas. And you are making it sound like he is a pest in his own home state.”
Au contraire, mon frere.
I can understand you may feel I’m sometimes critical of the current administration, but this time I am talking of other pests. It seems there is an infestation of Asian lady bugs in Texas and the infestation is causing a problem for the residents of the state. From the research I have done I have learned that the Asian lady bugs were introduced into the United States to prey upon other insects that were damaging plants and trees. In their native Asia, the lady bugs hibernate in large groups on cliff faces during the winter. Because there aren’t many cliffs in Texas the beetles are joining Texas families inside their homes during the winter and causing quite a stink. I use the word “stink” for a reason and the reason I use it is that the little boogers have an odor to them. Yes, the little stinkers come in from the cold, uninvited, and smell up the place.
The story that brought this problem to my attention says the bugs leave bloodstains around the house (they are carnivores, after all, meaning they eat living things). They also shed their skins and defecate inside the house. The story quotes a Texas Extension Agent who says it is better not to spray them with insecticide as they will just get inside the walls of your house, die and smell. Because the bugs overwinter in groups in their native Asia, they spend the winters in Texas swarming, so it is not just lone bugs that are bugging people, but bunches of them.
The bugs also seem to be attracted to golf courses and they alight on the golfers. Now, Jimbo is not a golfer, but he did golf for a year or two in his youth. Golf is a very difficult game and requires concentration. I would imagine it would mess up a game and add strokes to your score if you had bugs landing on you while you were trying to negotiate a shot-- especially smelly bugs.
Right now you are probably thinking that it is time for Jimbo to offer a solution to the problem rather than just listening to him lament that the situation has occurred. I guess that you deserve a solution and here it is. We need to send someone back into time to stop the people who imported the lady bugs from Asia in the first place. Of course, if we did that, then the aphids that were killing plants and trees that caused someone to have the bright idea to bring in the lady bugs might have become more of a problem than the lady bugs are and there might not be any trees or plants left. Or, instead of bringing in the lady bugs, they could have used DDT to eliminate the aphids and that could have caused an environmental nightmare. As Roseanne Roseanna-Dana (played by Gilda Radner on Saturday Night Live) used to say, “It’s always something.”
The bottom line is (if you don’t mind me using the phrase in a context where buttocks are not involved) that every action has a reaction and we always have to think before we do things and be prepared to live with the consequences. And remember, Texas gave us George Bush, so maybe they deserve to suffer down there like the rest of the nation has. Anyway, all this thinking has made me tired. Lets all give our brains a rest and lets think about Mickey’s ass, or Nicole’s and wonder how we got from their asses to here.
Sometimes there are a lot of detours in a trip through Jimbo’s world.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
not just another flyboy movie
Yesterday, Jimbo and his girlfriend saw the movie The Aviator. We received some discount movie passes from my son and his girlfriend for Christmas, so the price was very comfortable. Thanks, again, guys for the gift.
My overall opinion of the movie was favorable and I would recommend it. The movie is about the early years of Howard Hughes and gives us an explanation why he had a phobia of germs and therefore, for those of us familiar with Hughes’ later years, it helps to explain why he lived out his life as a virtual hermit and in isolation. The later part of his life was not shown in the movie. Maybe they will do a sequel sometime to show the rest, although it would not be necessary.
The movie depicts Hughes as a child and there was an epidemic and his mother put an effort into washing him and keeping him clean from the disease, something that foreshadowed the rest of his life. Many in his community were in quarantine. For those who have seen the movie that is Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, as his mother spells out for him as a child and he spells out for himself in moments of psychotic paranoia in his adult life. Throughout the movie Hughes (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) has a phobia of coming into contact with men or having them touch his food, although he seems to have no problem about contact with women, with whom he seems to be in frequent close contact throughout the movie. Perhaps this is because his mother kept him clean and sterile in his youth. This is just speculation, of course. Do I look like a psychiatrist? When you look in you dictionary under psychiatrist, you’ll not find a line drawing of my less-than-handsome countenance.
I thought DiCaprio’s performance was extremely good. I would imagine it would be a challenge to go from pretty boy to psycho at the drop of a hat. I was pretty impressed.
Hughes is depicted throughout the movie as an eccentric who leverages his family’s tool business to finance his career as a movie-maker and an aircraft pioneer and he puts his fortune on the line numerous times and teeters on the edge of solvency in order to advance his projects like film making, aircraft manufacture and running an airline. During the entire movie he drifts into and out of periods of psychosis, each time leaving the viewer to wonder whether he will remain that way, helpless, forever. Each time he manages to regain his sanity temporarily and accomplish some other remarkable feat.
I particularly liked the early part of the movie, during which Hughes was making the movie Hell’s Angels, and the amount of time and money it took to bring the movie to the screen. I also thought it was a very realistic depiction of the nightlife in the twenties and thirties, with the entertainers rolling their eyes and acting goofy as hell. From what I have read of those times, the entertainers were about as sedate as rockers of the seventies. Of course, I don’t know for a fact. I wasn’t there. I’m old, but not that old.
The Aviator is a bit of a long movie—about two-and one-half hours—so make sure you go to the restroom before you go into the theatre, but if you are interested in being entertained, I would highly recommend this film.
Here in Jimbo’s world we know a nut case when we see one, even if we can’t explain it in the proper psychological jargon, and we also know a good movie when we see it.
My overall opinion of the movie was favorable and I would recommend it. The movie is about the early years of Howard Hughes and gives us an explanation why he had a phobia of germs and therefore, for those of us familiar with Hughes’ later years, it helps to explain why he lived out his life as a virtual hermit and in isolation. The later part of his life was not shown in the movie. Maybe they will do a sequel sometime to show the rest, although it would not be necessary.
The movie depicts Hughes as a child and there was an epidemic and his mother put an effort into washing him and keeping him clean from the disease, something that foreshadowed the rest of his life. Many in his community were in quarantine. For those who have seen the movie that is Q-U-A-R-A-N-T-I-N-E, as his mother spells out for him as a child and he spells out for himself in moments of psychotic paranoia in his adult life. Throughout the movie Hughes (played by Leonardo DiCaprio) has a phobia of coming into contact with men or having them touch his food, although he seems to have no problem about contact with women, with whom he seems to be in frequent close contact throughout the movie. Perhaps this is because his mother kept him clean and sterile in his youth. This is just speculation, of course. Do I look like a psychiatrist? When you look in you dictionary under psychiatrist, you’ll not find a line drawing of my less-than-handsome countenance.
I thought DiCaprio’s performance was extremely good. I would imagine it would be a challenge to go from pretty boy to psycho at the drop of a hat. I was pretty impressed.
Hughes is depicted throughout the movie as an eccentric who leverages his family’s tool business to finance his career as a movie-maker and an aircraft pioneer and he puts his fortune on the line numerous times and teeters on the edge of solvency in order to advance his projects like film making, aircraft manufacture and running an airline. During the entire movie he drifts into and out of periods of psychosis, each time leaving the viewer to wonder whether he will remain that way, helpless, forever. Each time he manages to regain his sanity temporarily and accomplish some other remarkable feat.
I particularly liked the early part of the movie, during which Hughes was making the movie Hell’s Angels, and the amount of time and money it took to bring the movie to the screen. I also thought it was a very realistic depiction of the nightlife in the twenties and thirties, with the entertainers rolling their eyes and acting goofy as hell. From what I have read of those times, the entertainers were about as sedate as rockers of the seventies. Of course, I don’t know for a fact. I wasn’t there. I’m old, but not that old.
The Aviator is a bit of a long movie—about two-and one-half hours—so make sure you go to the restroom before you go into the theatre, but if you are interested in being entertained, I would highly recommend this film.
Here in Jimbo’s world we know a nut case when we see one, even if we can’t explain it in the proper psychological jargon, and we also know a good movie when we see it.
Friday, January 07, 2005
jimbo's chili: like a coat from the cold
You may recall that a number of weeks ago—I believe it was around Thanksgiving—I gave you a recipe for omelets you could use to impress your girlfriends. I want to take this opportunity to increase your culinary boundaries, but, before I do, perhaps I should probably expand my own horizons. A re-reading of the omelet weblog would make one think that all of Jimbo’s readers are adolescent males of little sophistication, whereas I am convinced that I failed, at that time, to grasp the scope of geniality and worldliness of my readership. I apologize for this social faux pas and I will make sure it does not happen again. I am now totally convinced that I am writing to one of the most educated and socially astute audiences out there on the World Wide Web.
The delightful dish I will set before you today is my world-famous chili con carne. To those of you who are not fluent in Espanol, that means chili, with meat. Here is what you need to make it. I assume that Williams seasonings are available throughout the country and world. Their headquarters is in Jimbo’s neighborhood, so if their seasoning is not available you can substitute what you can get, but Williams will be far superior.
2 lbs. of ground beef (I prefer ground chuck or ground round)
1 small slice of onion (Jimbo uses small yellow ones)
1 oz. package of Williams Original Chili Seasoning
10 oz. can of diced tomatoes and green chilies
16 oz. can of chili beans
1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese
Put the ground beef in a large pan or Dutch oven with about two cups of water and cook until brown on medium heat. Stir frequently to make sure the meat is crumbled uniformly and thoroughly cooked. When the meat is cooked, drain off the water. Jimbo’s girlfriend has a Dutch oven with a lid with small holes on one side to drain pasta. This works very well for draining the water off the meat. While the meat is cooking, take an onion and peel that brownish crap off the outside and slice a quarter-inch thick section from the middle of the onion and put the rest of the onion in a baggie for the next time you make omelets. Lay your quarter-inch thick disk of onion on a cutting board and slice it into 1/8” thick strips; then rotate it 90 degrees and cut the strips into 1/8” pieces and then put the onion into the meat after the water is drained off. Cook at medium heat for five minutes, stirring frequently, to mix the onions into the meat.
Then, pour the chili seasoning, the tomatoes and chilies and the beans into the pan with the meat and mix thoroughly. Cook at medium heat for about five to ten minutes and then reduce the heat to low and simmer for fifteen or twenty minutes. Then put the chili into bowls and top with the shredded cheese and serve with crackers of your choice. Jimbo’s girlfriend likes to drink milk with her chili, but it goes well with beer also.
Jimbo made this chili for his girlfriend tonight and she seemed to enjoy it. I think if you make it for your girlfriend, your boyfriend or your same-sex partner, it will go over well. We are going to have strawberry daiquiris later tonight. I’ll give you the recipe for them at a later time, if you will promise me you’ll make the chili before you start drinking and become a danger to your kitchen and the rest of the free world.
Remember, friends don’t let friends cook drunk. And in Jimbo’s world we never put heat to a pan unless we’re stone cold sober.
The delightful dish I will set before you today is my world-famous chili con carne. To those of you who are not fluent in Espanol, that means chili, with meat. Here is what you need to make it. I assume that Williams seasonings are available throughout the country and world. Their headquarters is in Jimbo’s neighborhood, so if their seasoning is not available you can substitute what you can get, but Williams will be far superior.
2 lbs. of ground beef (I prefer ground chuck or ground round)
1 small slice of onion (Jimbo uses small yellow ones)
1 oz. package of Williams Original Chili Seasoning
10 oz. can of diced tomatoes and green chilies
16 oz. can of chili beans
1 bag of shredded cheddar cheese
Put the ground beef in a large pan or Dutch oven with about two cups of water and cook until brown on medium heat. Stir frequently to make sure the meat is crumbled uniformly and thoroughly cooked. When the meat is cooked, drain off the water. Jimbo’s girlfriend has a Dutch oven with a lid with small holes on one side to drain pasta. This works very well for draining the water off the meat. While the meat is cooking, take an onion and peel that brownish crap off the outside and slice a quarter-inch thick section from the middle of the onion and put the rest of the onion in a baggie for the next time you make omelets. Lay your quarter-inch thick disk of onion on a cutting board and slice it into 1/8” thick strips; then rotate it 90 degrees and cut the strips into 1/8” pieces and then put the onion into the meat after the water is drained off. Cook at medium heat for five minutes, stirring frequently, to mix the onions into the meat.
Then, pour the chili seasoning, the tomatoes and chilies and the beans into the pan with the meat and mix thoroughly. Cook at medium heat for about five to ten minutes and then reduce the heat to low and simmer for fifteen or twenty minutes. Then put the chili into bowls and top with the shredded cheese and serve with crackers of your choice. Jimbo’s girlfriend likes to drink milk with her chili, but it goes well with beer also.
Jimbo made this chili for his girlfriend tonight and she seemed to enjoy it. I think if you make it for your girlfriend, your boyfriend or your same-sex partner, it will go over well. We are going to have strawberry daiquiris later tonight. I’ll give you the recipe for them at a later time, if you will promise me you’ll make the chili before you start drinking and become a danger to your kitchen and the rest of the free world.
Remember, friends don’t let friends cook drunk. And in Jimbo’s world we never put heat to a pan unless we’re stone cold sober.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
rats as big as raccoons
Just when you think everything is all right, then things go straight to hell in a hand basket.
I read this week about a non-native species of rat causing havoc in Florida. I know, you are probably thinking that I am going to say something negative about the governor of Florida, who is the President’s brother. No, it is not that at all. There is no guilt by association here in Jimbo’s world. I have no particular axe to grind against the man. The particular rat against which I will be preaching today is the Gambian pouch rat; a native of Africa that has been introduced somehow into the Florida Keys and whom conservations say is an environmental problem.
These rats grow to the size of raccoons and compete for the food of two other species of rat that are endangered species. The rats are omnivores, which means, like Jimbo, they will eat almost anything, including bird eggs. You may recall several weeks ago I sort of encouraged all of you to eat bird eggs when I gave you the recipe for Jimbo’s omelet. Of course, these rats are not the bon vivant that Jimbo (and probably you) are and they eat the crap that other rats eat, so they are a problem.
Now, it goes without saying that I am not a fan of rats and I hesitate to get really outraged at the possibility of a couple of species of rat being endangered, but if the alternative is these big rats from Africa who are so big they have no predators, then I guess I have to speak out.
The rats are only in the Florida keys right now and nobody is sure how they got there, but the concern is they will hitch a ride on a truck or do some other crazy stunt and get to the mainland and migrate to the everglades, where they will prosper and get out of control, like college students at spring break, and then there will be hell to pay. There won’t be any aesthetic value in the rats’ shenanigans as there is with the college students. No one will be videotaping the rats’ antics and advertising the “Rats gone wild” videos on Howard Stern’s show.
I also read a story about a kangaroo that got loose in Wisconsin and was captured by the local law enforcement people. I lived in Wisconsin for a while and I’ve been to Florida a few times and I think the climate of Florida is much preferred. I doubt whether the kangaroo would have thrived in Wisconsin like the rats do in Florida. I know I left Wisconsin with no regrets, but every time I went to Florida, I found myself reading the jobs ads in the local paper to see if I could find some way to stay there permanently. Florida is a more hospitable place, environmentally, and once the rats hit the mainland, it’s too late for all of us. Will the rats take over Walt Disney World and drive Mickey Mouse to extinction? Will one of the football teams down there take on the pouch rat as a mascot? Will a restaurant name a dish after the rats? Will Florida become the rat capitol of the world?
Dear God, perish the thought.
I’ve never been to the Keys, but they tell me it’s nice. Maybe the rats will choose to stay there rather than migrate to the mainland. But, even so, I don’t think we want them there, either. I guess our salvation depends on the government of Florida to deliver us from this evil.
Which takes me back to my original point. Just when you think things are all right, it goes to hell in a hand basket.
Because here in Jimbo’s world we know the choice between rats and certain government entities is pretty much a coin flip.
I read this week about a non-native species of rat causing havoc in Florida. I know, you are probably thinking that I am going to say something negative about the governor of Florida, who is the President’s brother. No, it is not that at all. There is no guilt by association here in Jimbo’s world. I have no particular axe to grind against the man. The particular rat against which I will be preaching today is the Gambian pouch rat; a native of Africa that has been introduced somehow into the Florida Keys and whom conservations say is an environmental problem.
These rats grow to the size of raccoons and compete for the food of two other species of rat that are endangered species. The rats are omnivores, which means, like Jimbo, they will eat almost anything, including bird eggs. You may recall several weeks ago I sort of encouraged all of you to eat bird eggs when I gave you the recipe for Jimbo’s omelet. Of course, these rats are not the bon vivant that Jimbo (and probably you) are and they eat the crap that other rats eat, so they are a problem.
Now, it goes without saying that I am not a fan of rats and I hesitate to get really outraged at the possibility of a couple of species of rat being endangered, but if the alternative is these big rats from Africa who are so big they have no predators, then I guess I have to speak out.
The rats are only in the Florida keys right now and nobody is sure how they got there, but the concern is they will hitch a ride on a truck or do some other crazy stunt and get to the mainland and migrate to the everglades, where they will prosper and get out of control, like college students at spring break, and then there will be hell to pay. There won’t be any aesthetic value in the rats’ shenanigans as there is with the college students. No one will be videotaping the rats’ antics and advertising the “Rats gone wild” videos on Howard Stern’s show.
I also read a story about a kangaroo that got loose in Wisconsin and was captured by the local law enforcement people. I lived in Wisconsin for a while and I’ve been to Florida a few times and I think the climate of Florida is much preferred. I doubt whether the kangaroo would have thrived in Wisconsin like the rats do in Florida. I know I left Wisconsin with no regrets, but every time I went to Florida, I found myself reading the jobs ads in the local paper to see if I could find some way to stay there permanently. Florida is a more hospitable place, environmentally, and once the rats hit the mainland, it’s too late for all of us. Will the rats take over Walt Disney World and drive Mickey Mouse to extinction? Will one of the football teams down there take on the pouch rat as a mascot? Will a restaurant name a dish after the rats? Will Florida become the rat capitol of the world?
Dear God, perish the thought.
I’ve never been to the Keys, but they tell me it’s nice. Maybe the rats will choose to stay there rather than migrate to the mainland. But, even so, I don’t think we want them there, either. I guess our salvation depends on the government of Florida to deliver us from this evil.
Which takes me back to my original point. Just when you think things are all right, it goes to hell in a hand basket.
Because here in Jimbo’s world we know the choice between rats and certain government entities is pretty much a coin flip.
Monday, January 03, 2005
no smart chicks, please
I saw a headline on Yahoo! this morning that read:
Snow Shuts Down Major California Highway
I thought immediately of the Treasury Secretary and was offended by his lack of compassion for his fellow man. People need to get places; they need to get back home after the holiday weekend. Shouldn't Secretary Snow be working to support the dollar instead of letting it slide against foreign currencies rather than creating mischief?
I had time to read the story, however, and I realized it was not some shenanigan of that mother of a Treasury Secretary, but rather one of mother nature. My bad. I was all set to light into him, verbally, but now I guess I’ll have to find something else to talk about.
Fortunately, something else caught my interest and so I can leave John Snow in peace-- for at least today, anyway. I read a story about a study in Great Britain that indicated that smart women were less likely to get married than smart men. Forty percent fewer women in the survey got married for each 16-point rise in IQ. The article quoted a writer who said that intelligent men preferred a less brainy partner. It went on to say that high IQ men tended toward demanding jobs and they tended to look for old fashioned women like their mothers, whom I infer by what I read must not be very intelligent.
As either Disraeli or Mark Twain said, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. Someone else said that the numbers don’t lie, but I am questioning the conclusions drawn by this article. My own mother, for example, while spurning the fields of brain surgery and rocket science, was primarily a home maker during my formative years, although she did work briefly in the electronics field when I was in college. She was fully capable of managing the household and solving the problems of her children, and despite the fact she married my father, she is an intelligent woman. Not that marrying my father was a bad choice in itself. I was meaning getting married, period. I’m sure some of you sniggered recently when I mentioned the problems she was having with her internet service provider. No matter how smart or dumb we are, we’ve all had those problems. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. All right, then. I didn’t think I would see any rocks flying.
As my second example, I would like to use Jimbo’s girlfriend. Many of you will be quick to point out that the survey numbers involved getting married and obviously she and Jimbo have not yet achieved that particular goal. Again, my girlfriend has not performed brain surgery lately nor launched any spaceships, but she has a responsible managerial position, and, in fact, has been married before. Her favorite television program is Sex and the City, and frequently I watch it with her. Now, if you’ve ever seen the show, it is about four single women in New York, all good looking, and any one of those babes could be married anytime they would want to, but they seem to be discriminating. It’s not like they hop in the sack with the first stranger that comes along. Okay, I guess some of them do, but the point I am trying to make is that the decision as to whom to marry rests at least fifty percent with women and I contend it is a much higher percentage than that. Sometimes we guys think we are calling the shots, when, in fact, we are not nearly as in charge as we think.
The interpretation of data can be subjective and sometimes even the smartest of us can make incorrect assumptions based on exactly the same information. I think the conclusion drawn from the data may be slightly skewed. My own interpretation, although it is also subject to the test of incorrect conclusions being drawn, is that smarter women may be more discriminating about whom they choose to marry. Perhaps if given a choice, smarter women my decide the alternative of being single is preferable.
Of course, being a man, I could be wrong.
In life, as in Jimbo’s world, there are always two or more ways to look at things.
Snow Shuts Down Major California Highway
I thought immediately of the Treasury Secretary and was offended by his lack of compassion for his fellow man. People need to get places; they need to get back home after the holiday weekend. Shouldn't Secretary Snow be working to support the dollar instead of letting it slide against foreign currencies rather than creating mischief?
I had time to read the story, however, and I realized it was not some shenanigan of that mother of a Treasury Secretary, but rather one of mother nature. My bad. I was all set to light into him, verbally, but now I guess I’ll have to find something else to talk about.
Fortunately, something else caught my interest and so I can leave John Snow in peace-- for at least today, anyway. I read a story about a study in Great Britain that indicated that smart women were less likely to get married than smart men. Forty percent fewer women in the survey got married for each 16-point rise in IQ. The article quoted a writer who said that intelligent men preferred a less brainy partner. It went on to say that high IQ men tended toward demanding jobs and they tended to look for old fashioned women like their mothers, whom I infer by what I read must not be very intelligent.
As either Disraeli or Mark Twain said, there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. Someone else said that the numbers don’t lie, but I am questioning the conclusions drawn by this article. My own mother, for example, while spurning the fields of brain surgery and rocket science, was primarily a home maker during my formative years, although she did work briefly in the electronics field when I was in college. She was fully capable of managing the household and solving the problems of her children, and despite the fact she married my father, she is an intelligent woman. Not that marrying my father was a bad choice in itself. I was meaning getting married, period. I’m sure some of you sniggered recently when I mentioned the problems she was having with her internet service provider. No matter how smart or dumb we are, we’ve all had those problems. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. All right, then. I didn’t think I would see any rocks flying.
As my second example, I would like to use Jimbo’s girlfriend. Many of you will be quick to point out that the survey numbers involved getting married and obviously she and Jimbo have not yet achieved that particular goal. Again, my girlfriend has not performed brain surgery lately nor launched any spaceships, but she has a responsible managerial position, and, in fact, has been married before. Her favorite television program is Sex and the City, and frequently I watch it with her. Now, if you’ve ever seen the show, it is about four single women in New York, all good looking, and any one of those babes could be married anytime they would want to, but they seem to be discriminating. It’s not like they hop in the sack with the first stranger that comes along. Okay, I guess some of them do, but the point I am trying to make is that the decision as to whom to marry rests at least fifty percent with women and I contend it is a much higher percentage than that. Sometimes we guys think we are calling the shots, when, in fact, we are not nearly as in charge as we think.
The interpretation of data can be subjective and sometimes even the smartest of us can make incorrect assumptions based on exactly the same information. I think the conclusion drawn from the data may be slightly skewed. My own interpretation, although it is also subject to the test of incorrect conclusions being drawn, is that smarter women may be more discriminating about whom they choose to marry. Perhaps if given a choice, smarter women my decide the alternative of being single is preferable.
Of course, being a man, I could be wrong.
In life, as in Jimbo’s world, there are always two or more ways to look at things.
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