jimbo slays the serpent

In mythology, and in the bible (if you care not to lump it with mythology) serpents frequently represent evil. You probably remember in Genesis, chapter 3, that it was a snake who convinced Eve to eat fruit from the tree of knowledge and feed some of that dangerous fruit to her husband, also. You probably also remember that when God found out he was pissed. He pulled the serpent aside and told him:

“Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life...”

God didn’t stop there, however. He told Eve:

“I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

Yeah, right. Show me the husband that rules over his missus and I’ll show you an exception to the rule. Although what I’m about to say goes against everything we hold sacred and the basis of our religious beliefs, and the marching papers of the religious right, I have to say that the second quote is a bunch of crap. Surely, in the twenty-first century no one really believes that. If God said that to any of the women I know, he’d better expect to get his ass chewed, or at the least, he’d better expect to see the finger displayed.

So, since 99.9% of us aren’t going to take the second quote literally, why then do we not question the first one and why are snakes so loathed and despised? Who ever heard of a talking snake, anyway?

You are probably asking yourself, “What has gotten Jimbo so stirred up? Did someone move the bookmark in his bible so he lost his place? Did someone highlight something in his concordance? What was it that got him hotter than Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego?”

Well, the truth is that Jimbo has killed today, and although no one will mourn the passing of the snake he killed, it got him thinking. Today while cutting the grass at my old house, a garter snake darted out in front of me and under the mower. He became four or five smaller pieces of snake. I’ve killed snakes before, so it is no big deal. Perhaps if I had been younger and quicker I could have stopped in time, but I’m not and I didn’t. Snakes actually perform a valuable function. Perhaps had God actually dictated the bible, then the dork that wrote Genesis would not have written something so blatantly idiotic about snakes and women.

By the way, the lawn looked really good when I was finished.

Anyway, there is one less snake this evening patrolling the vast expanse of green that comprises the lawn at chez Jimbo. We probably won’t drink to his memory. Of course, around here, we’ll drink to about anything. If you are afraid of snakes, you can relax. There is one less to be afraid of. If you are afraid of women, well, there isn’t much I can do to help you.

We just try to keep our fears in check, here in Jimbo’s world.