Jimbo and his girlfriend were just exchanging job-related stories of good and bad things that happened at work today, but when I logged onto my computer afterward, I found something much more horrifying than happened to either of us at work today.
It seems that in Germany there is a pond, located in what is described as an affluent suburb in which there is an epidemic of spontaneous amphibian combustion. It appears that toads that live around the pond are blowing up like balloons and then blowing up like over inflated balloons, and toad parts are flying everywhere. German tabloids are calling it “the death pool.”
Boom! There goes another one. And everyone standing too close got splattered with toad guts.
Some would say that this portends the apocalypse and others would quickly add that this is what happens when society turns its back on God. Some would say that this is what happens in a society where men sleep with men and women pleasure other women. I don’t remember reading anything about this in Revelations, but I have to admit I haven’t read that particular book front to back for a while. I would imagine there are people who would say that when civilization begins to impinge upon natural habitats that things like this are bound to happen. Still others will blame global warming. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some people out there who would remind me that because so many people voted against Bush in the last election that it is our fault that toads in Europe are detonating. I’m sure that many would remind us that Darwin never predicted exploding toads. So there! I guess it shows his theories are therefore almost certainly wrong.
Kaboom! That was a messy one.
I have my own theory, and that is that this is some weird shit. I’m just hoping it stays on the other side of the pond. When our toads croak, I prefer it to be more neat and tidy.
Because Jimbo’s world is a prettier place without toad parts scattered all over.
No comments:
Post a Comment