Jimbo has never been a cat person. For that matter, I haven’t been much of a pet person. When I was a kid, I had a dog named Rusty, and when Rusty passed on I guess I figured she was the only pet in my life. Like those widows you hear of who lost their husbands in the Great War and never re-married, I have remained loyal and probably will until the end of my days. I know there are a number of people whose lives revolve around their pets, and although I personally think that is weird, it is their lives and more power to them. If the pets are cats, I think it is even more weird, but that is okay and who am I to judge?
In the news today is a story about some deranged person who fired some shotgun blasts at the house of Siegfried and Roy because he reportedly had come to the conclusion that the two illusionists had an “unhealthy intimacy” with their big cats. I’ll admit that I would not like to keep big cats as pets, but if Siegfried and Roy want to do it, it is fine with me. Besides, I’m not going to mess with anyone who has the cojones to hug a lion or a tiger. I figure anyone who can hug a tiger can probably kick my ass, even with Roy recovering after being attacked last October.
Yes, sir, Mr. Siegfried; yes, sir, Mr. Roy. Whatever you say, sir.
In reading the story of this incident, however, I am struck by the similarities of the arguments of this deranged man to the arguments by another group of deranged people, the religious right. It seems that you have two guys who are doing something outside of the mainstream, and someone sees them and thinks it isn’t right. “I don’t hug tigers,” this guy is probably thinking, “so they shouldn’t hug tigers, either, and I’m going to do something about it.”
In a civilized society, we look a people that are different from us and think that we certainly wouldn’t do what they do, but we wouldn’t think of stopping them from pursuing what they are doing, as long as it doesn’t infringe on our rights. Hell, we might even make fun of them, but not to their face. It’s like the old lady down the street who treats her dog better than the family next door treats their children. We may snigger about it and it’s pink bows, but we sure as hell aren’t going to insist our politicians enact legislation to prevent her from doting over her dog. And, even if someone had a maniacal idea that a legislative line be drawn somewhere between petting your dog and hugging him and putting bows in his hair, we would dismiss the idea as being as un-American as it is. In a civilized society, such legislation would be recognized as unconstitutional.
But the religious right thinks they know better than the founding fathers, so they want to amend the constitution to make it read more like the founding fathers “intended.” I guess it is not surprising that they found some spineless, suck-up, wuss politicians who are happy to kiss their backsides and happily offer to change the constitution for them. Of course, the President is supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen, but he turns out to be the most spineless, most suck-up and wussiest of all.
And if the religious right is successful in doing this, what is next? Will we burn witches again? Will we declare Darwin a heretic? Will we outlaw Siegfried and Roy because the “magic” they use to make those big cats disappear is really spooky?
Actually, I’d like to see the religious right go after Siegfried and Roy. Sure, I think those two are a little weird, but you better not mess with guys who aren’t afraid to hug lions and tigers. Like I said, anyone who can do that can probably kick my ass. And they can probably kick the asses of the religious right, too. Plus that, they can probably do that thing that Tarzan did when he said something like “Simba attack,” and all of the lions would attack whomever he wanted them to. Yeah, I’d bet they could do that, too. We could see if there was a re-enactment of the story of Daniel in the lion’s den, or if the lions would have something to chew on. Maybe Siegfried and Roy would go down in history as the saviors of the Constitution. Not bad for a couple of foreigners.
But, rather than wait for them to get involved, I’ll keep doing my part to point out the satanic doings of the religious right and hope these evil doers will see the error of their ways, much as Saul was blinded by the light on the road to Damascus, and afterward saw things more clearly. His was such a life-altering experience he changed his name to Paul. Perhaps they too will have a life-altering paradigm change in philosophy, but I’m not counting on it. As long as the demon Dubya is in office and his Satan-worshipers are changing the constitution, we’ll be trying to protect it.
Because that is our constitutional duty, here in Jimbo’s world.
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