Friday, November 19, 2004

i'm just trying to get a message to you

I read that Bill Gates gets four million e-mails a day, most of them spam. Welcome to the club, Billy boy. It seems this operating system for computers you and your friends came up with has had a more positive impact on the world than the labors of hundreds of millions of people that came before you, but you too must suffer the outrageous fortune of spam.

It seems that Bill and I have a lot in common. Total strangers are telling us our penises are too small, they can cure our baldness or save on our prescription medicines. I get "approved" for second mortgages at the rate of hundreds of millions of dollars a month; I guess Bill probably is in the billions. And you know he doesn't need the money.

Just trying to get a message to you.

Message in a bottle.

Fan mail from some flounder.

Steve Balmer, Microsoft's CEO says Gates has a staff that filters his e-mail for him, so he is probably not even aware that so many people think his penile size is inadequate. Balmer also says that Microsoft has technology that filters out the spam so it won't get to Gates. I hope it works better than my spam blocker, which the spammers have found a way to get around and now it only catches about 75% of the spam. That's good, but it still allows so much crap to get through that sometimes as I delete it I wonder if I am adequate, man-wise.

It's like I get a hundred junk e-mails for every one legitimate one. I don't like those odds. I guess that is progress. Whenever someone comes up with a better idea, someone else finds a way to use it to exploit people. It's like when God invented women, it may have been his best idea, but every once in a while one of them will break your heart.

Speaking of women, had you mortgaged your house and sold all your assets and bought Sirius Satellite Radio (NASDAQ:SIRI) earlier this week when I mentioned it in my story about the beavers who mismanaged their money, you could afford the company of a much higher class of woman this morning. The stock is up $.90 in the pre-market. I wish I had bought more than the thousand shares I purchased yesterday.

But, I digress. My message to you this morning is, "Is there anybody out there?"

Sometimes I wonder who, if anyone, is reading my posts. If you read this and you have any reaction to what I have been writing, even if it is just that anyone who doesn't like Bush must not like America, please send me a message. Go to my profile and click the e-mail icon and say, "hi," or "hello, you Bush-hating communist-loving piece of crap athiest unamerican bastard." Or, say anything you want to. That is one e-mail I would like to read.

I'd like to blame this e-mail spam problem on Bush, but I think that would be stretching it a little.

Other than that, it's going pretty well.

This is Jimbo's world and I'm Jimbo.

2 comments:

Trevor said...

Hi Jimbo

Interesting and amusing blogblog. I wonder if you know that a blog run by a very prestigious newspaper here in the UK www.guardianunlimited.co.uk has mentioned yours?

Jesse said...

http://spamusement.com/

That's my one cent.