walkin' on the water

I had a few momentary thoughts of terror yesterday morning when I read about Congressman Kevin Yoder skinny-dipping in the Sea of Galilee.  My anxiety was not because a fellow Kansan might have had one more drink than he should have, lost his clothes and tried to re-enact Jesus’ fabled walk upon those same waters.  After all, how many times have I and my fellow Kansans been somewhere near water where alcohol was served and one thing led to another?  Usually it is a lake, reservoir or farm pond and not a sacred historic site, but we all know how the story goes.

“Liquor?  Why, yes, just to be social.  Is the water warm today?  Oh, no, I won’t need a bathing suit…”

Yoder said that alcohol played no role and I have to accept that as the truth, but usually it takes me a few drinks before I will unharness the old package.

Well, you know the drill.  Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

However, my fellow rednecks and I are expected to get drunk and do stupid things.  Our representative is supposed to be a tea-totaler and not do stupid things.

Oh, wait!  Yoder is a member of Congress, and that group is famous for doing stupid things, so I can’t expect their behavior to be half a good as my fellow rednecks.  Please disregard my first argument that he should be held to a higher standard.

My terror, however, was two-fold.  I still can’t get it through my head that Yoder is not my congressman.  We moved a couple of miles west three years ago and either moved out of the district he represents or we were gerrymandered out when they moved the boundaries to insure that no Democrat would ever again win the district once represented by the highly respected, sober and fully-clothed, Dennis Moore.

Oh, good, Yoder is not my congressman. 

This should help the Democrat running against him, I thought.

Then I remembered.

Oh, great!  Because the district has been gerrymandered to insure a Democrat will never win, there isn’t even one running, just a Libertarian without a ghost of a chance, even though he thinks this will help put him over the top.  Despite the fact it will have no effect on the election it will be fun to hear the congressman explain this again and again.