Dear Mr. Pickens,
I was delighted this week to hear that Bill Self has decided to stay at Kansas and that the large amount of money in your personal stash was not sufficient to hire him away.
However, after giving the matter some thought, it dawned on me that I have never mentioned to you that I know how to coach basketball. I coached my son's teams when he was young, and although we were more interested in developing talent than in winning games, we picked up some skills in coaching on the hardwoods.
I know you have money to burn, but I could be had for a contract in the low seven figures. Heck, even that is negotiable.
Please let me hear from you at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Jimbo
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