a bridge too far, or some kind of nut

I read with interest this morning that a city in the Czech Republic is doing what it can to save the squirrels.

In the Czech city of Sokolov, they have spent nearly $1900 to build a bridge over a busy road so the squirrels there can cross the road, without having to negotiate the traffic. Many of our faithful readers might say that this is not an efficient use of government funds. One might even point out that this kind of money could be used by victims of Katrina to buy two $800 purses and have a little left over to accessorize. But I say that if keeps these little bastards out from under the wheels of my car, it is worth it. The two caveats, however, are that Jimbo would not likely be driving in Sokolov, Czech Republic, anytime soon, and that the bridge may not even work because they are not sure the squirrels will use it.

The mayor of Sokolov says that some people in his town say that the money should be spent on people and not squirrels and the bridge, and the money spent for it is nonsense, but he insists it is not.

There are a large number of mature oaks and walnut trees in the neighborhood of chez Jimbo’s girlfriend. I am, therefore, taking evasive action daily to try to avoid hitting squirrels whose lust for nuts and acorns clouds their judgment and causes them to make last-minute dashes in front of my car for their prized kernel. I’m concerned that if someone built a bridge over the street next to our cul de sac that the squirrels would get halfway across, see a nut in the street below, and come back down to face the danger.

Some of you might say these squirrels are crazy, that the nut never falls too far from the tree. I would like to point out, however, these are the progeny of the individuals who planted the great oaks and walnuts in the first place. In the grand scheme of things, we all may be living in the orchard cultivated by the ancestors of these squirrels, whose grand plan was to propagate a food chain that would feed their progeny forever. Either that, or these squirrels of yore may simply have forgotten where they buried a prized acorn. And, that acorn, like many others and forgotten subterranean walnuts sprouted small saplings that climbed toward the heavens, eventually to tower over all that was below.

We can build bridges for these squirrels, or rocket-powered nut transporting devices, but I think the squirrels will eschew them for the old method of recklessly dodging traffic and hand picking their nuts and acorns. And the nut they will always prefer is the one right in front of the tires of our cars, and they will always decide to retrieve it at the last minute.

So drive carefully.

At least that’s our plan here in Jimbo’s world.